Expectations

by Os Hillman

"I eagerly expect and hope that I will in no way be ashamed, but will have sufficient courage so that now as always Christ will be exalted in my body, whether by life or by death." Philippians 1:20

Have you ever had expectations that did not get fulfilled? Perhaps a coworker let you down. Perhaps you were trusting God for something in your life that never materialized. Perhaps you became devastated by an unmet expectation that you felt you were entitled to. Expectations can be a difficult trap for each of us if we are not fully committed to God's purposes in our lives.

Paul wrote this verse from prison to the people of Philippi. He had an expectation that his life would bring glory to God, whether through his continued ministry or his death. His joy in living was not based on his expectations getting fulfilled, but on remaining true to the purpose for which God made him.

When we react to circumstances with bitterness and resentment as a result of unmet expectations, we are saying that we know better than God, and that God has made a mistake in not meeting our expectations. The process of resolving unmet expectations may require full disclosure to the individual who was the source of the unmet expectation, and of how the unmet expectation made you feel. This is not to make the person feel obligated to meet the expectation, but simply to share your feelings about it. If God was the source, then it is important to share this with the Lord. However, once we have done this we must let go of the situation and allow God to work in our hearts the grace that is needed to walk in freedom from the pain of the unmet expectation. If we do not do this, we will allow the seed of bitterness and resentment to enter in. This seed of bitterness will create leanness in our soul and eventually will spread to others.

Ask yourself today if you have any unmet expectations. How have you responded to them? Have you processed this with the Lord and others who may be involved? These are the steps to freedom from unmet expectations.

Wouldn't It Be Great if Every Class Had a Teacher Like That?

Dr. Jim Elsberry

has taught at all levels of education from kindergarten to graduate school, and has been an administrator in both private and public education. He currently is the chair of the division of education at Indiana Wesleyan University. He graduated from Indiana Wesleyan in 1970 with a degree in music education, and his master’s and doctorate degrees are in educational administration from the University of Texas at Austin.

What is it about some teachers that makes students flock to their classes? Why are some teachers remembered fondly by students years after graduation, while others are all but forgotten? How is it that some students become eager, motivated learners while others languish? In short, why do some teachers pass on the fire of enthusiasm to students while others have difficulty even lighting the match?

As a principal in both Christian schools and public schools, I engaged my teachers at the beginning of the school year in an exercise that asked them to think about teachers from their own school days who had a positive impact on them. Now in my role of preparing young men and women for service as teachers in God’s kingdom, I ask my students the same question: Think about teachers who made a difference in your life. What were they like? In the dozens of times I have used this exercise—with teachers, with students, and with parents of students—the answers have been remarkably similar. My informal research has revealed three characteristics of teachers who make a lasting difference in the lives of students:

Passion and Enthusiasm

Teachers who make a difference in the lives of their students are enthusiastic and passionate about their subject areas. They love what they teach, and it shows in class. One student said, “I could tell by his teaching that he loves math. He loves to talk about it all the time, and he wants his students to share his passion.” Another said, “My teacher thought literature was the most wonderful thing there was. She would tell us about one of her favorite passages, and tears would come to her eyes. I couldn’t help but love it too.” These teachers bring an in-depth knowledge of their subjects to the classroom, and they talk about them with excitement. They are continuous learners, and they share their discoveries with their students. One of the benefits of enthusiasm in teachers is that these teachers often draw reluctant students into active learning. Students will say that the subject was a difficult one or was one they did not particularly care about but that they became interested because the teacher made it so interesting.

Strong Personal Relationships

Effective teachers get to know their students on a personal level, and they care about what happens to students both at home and inside the classroom. One student explained, “I was going through a difficult time at home, and I didn’t have anybody to talk to but my teacher. It wasn’t like she was trying to be my buddy, but she took the time to listen to what I had to say without judging me. That really meant a lot to me.” Effective teachers also make an effort to establish positive relationships with parents. They will often call parents or write notes of encouragement and praise, especially for students who are having a particularly difficult time in school. Effective teachers find ways to encourage and support students in the classroom. Carl Jung said, “One looks back with appreciation to the brilliant teachers, but with gratitude to those who touched our human feelings. The curriculum is so much necessary new material, but the warmth is the vital element for the growing plant and for the soul of the child.”

High Expectations

Just because effective teachers care about and support students does not mean they are pushovers—quite the contrary. Effective teachers expect students to show self-discipline and achieve high levels of learning in the classroom. They give challenging assignments and expect students to do the work and do it well. One student said, “My teacher didn’t let things slip. He expected top-notch quality for everything. He expected me to be the best I could be.” Descriptions of these teachers include words such as strict, hard grader, and tough.

An interesting note about the characteristics of strong personal relationships and high expectations is that one will not work without the other. Many of us know teachers who try to make friends with students by getting down on their level. In a misguided attempt to win respect, these teachers do just the opposite—they lose whatever chance they had at being effective in the classroom by giving up their authority. Other teachers hold high academic standards for students but do not provide personal support for students’ efforts. These teachers tend to be cold, distant, and removed from the very students who want to do well but don’t get the support they need to succeed. Teachers who make a difference combine all three characteristics effectively. As they show enthusiasm, they maintain appropriately high standards in the classroom while supporting students in achieving them.

Parental Involvement: A Covenant

Cynthia M. Gant, Children’s Tuition Fund Coordinator

“As the child’s parent, you are the first and foremost teacher of your child.” I often made this statement to parents at the schools where I served as an administrator. I usually received a response of surprise and wonderment. Many of the parents at the schools where I served never heard that they were part of their child’s academic development. I told them not only that they were part but that they were the most vital part of the process. Most of the parents were single mothers, and the majority of them were also economically disadvantaged and undereducated. They had believed that it was the school’s job to teach their children, not theirs.

To engage the parents in the academic process, we as school personnel realized that we had to empower these parents. They needed to feel a sense of importance, and they needed to take part in the process. To accomplish both objectives, we established a school covenant whereby we would enter with each parent into a covenant relationship that focused on the success of the child. A statement by Nehemiah motivated us. Concerning the great task before him to rebuild the walls of Jerusalem, he asserted, “The God of heaven will give us success” (Nehemiah 2:20). All of the parents wanted their children to succeed, and so did we. No disagreement or confusion occurred regarding this common ground. In order to accomplish the goal, I explained that it was necessary for us to covenant together. I did not refer to this agreement as a contract because the term contract sounds too institutional. I knew that success would largely be a relational matter, and a covenant is a relational agreement.

The covenant contained two parts. The first part included what we committed ourselves to do as a school to promote the success of the child. We would provide the child with an education that was academically excellent; Bible based, and character shaping. All the parents agreed that this type of education was what they wanted for their child and that it would make for success. The second part of the covenant acknowledged that if we were to succeed with the child, the parents also had an equally crucial role to play. They had to covenant with us that they would commit to specific ways of supporting and reinforcing what we were doing at the school. Examples included assisting with homework, attending parent-teacher meetings, and meeting their financial obligations to the school.

The covenant focused on the student—not on the school, the teachers, the administration, or even anyone’s parenting skills. And because the focus remained on the student, when we had to address situations in which parents were violating the covenant, we emphasized what was necessary for the success of the child, without indicating that the problem was a reflection of parenting ability. The point was always that if any party of the covenant did not live up to the agreement, we could not succeed in educating the child effectively.

Parental empowerment makes for parental involvement. And parental involvement is a critical factor in the successful education of children.