Teaching is a sacred job. It is not a job to do because there is nothing else to do. To be a good and successful teacher requires passion, aptitude and training. In my experience as a teacher for the past 10 years, I have observed that a good teacher will always be remembered by the students or pupils he has taught.
Teaching with the heart will always leave indelible mark on the heart of the students. Below are some of the attributes that by experience and practice, I have seen make a good teacher -
Exhibits Enthusiasm – a good teacher will naturally exhibit passion for the job. Students can feel the excitement and can easily detect the teacher's love for job and subject. This is because whatever you are not excited about, you cannot excel in it.
Highly prepared – A good teacher is thoroughly prepared for the class. He knows the subject matter and prepares his lesson plan daily. Preparation precedes good performance. When a teacher is poorly prepared, he fumbles, gets agitated and delivers the lecture haphazardly.
Always punctual – a good teacher always arrives on time, begins and ends class on time, expects and encourages students to arrive on time. We have had of teachers who will tell students not to enter their class after they are in the class when they also come late for the class. A good teacher must as golden rule lead by example.
Supports and cares for students - a good teacher lets students know that he/she cares about their success, takes time with students, allows for creativity, he is friendly and courteous, he is supportive and encouraging, he is smiling, caring, and loving. As teachers we must be conscious of the fact that we are not slave masters, the students are human beings that should be loved and put in the right frame of mind if learning will be productive.
A good teacher is consistent – He does not miss class, he is consistent in attitude and dealings with students, is always well prepared to teach class. A good teacher cannot afford to be flippant.
He is Polite - Treats students with respect, does not condescend, and avoids embarrassing students in class. The fact that you have the capacity to discipline the students does not mean you should not respect them.
Firmness and control - Is firm in a kind manner, avoids tangents in teaching and makes sure that the students are always falling in line while still maintaining an orderly classroom.
A good teacher is a model all the time whether in the classroom, at the playground or in the neighborhood.
Friday, November 12, 2010
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Addicted to God and Allergic to the World
The end-time is a period in which people will be addicted to lust, and allergic to God. It is a season of wide spread complacency and apostasy. People will love to do what catch their fancy, rather than what God commands.
The end time is designed in such a way that the faith of many will end up on the shelf. These are the days in which people are addicted to lust, and allergic to God.
2Ti 3:1 - 5 Don't be naive. There are difficult times ahead. As the end approaches, people are going to be self-absorbed, money-hungry, self-promoting, stuck-up, profane, contemptuous of parents, crude, coarse, dog-eat-dog, unbending, slanderers, impulsively wild, savage, cynical, treacherous, ruthless, bloated windbags, addicted to lust, and allergic to God. They'll make a show of religion, but behind the scenes they're animals. Stay clear of these people.
A thorough bred believer in this end-time will get stronger if the grace is optimized. That is why Paul said in Rom 5:20 All that passing laws against sin did was produce more lawbreakers. But sin didn't, and doesn't, have a chance in competition with the aggressive forgiveness we call grace. When it's sin versus grace, grace wins hands down.
God’s desire this day and time to walk before him and be like him tallies with the issues of putting forth our faith in a very strong manner. The desire of the creation is also to see people that will be of tremendous help. Solution oriented people that will bring succor to our world.
All the messages on being significantly different will be not be actualize without a strong desire for it. Ps 27:4 The one thing I want from God, the thing I seek most of all, is the privilege of meditating in his Temple, living in his presence every day of my life, delighting in his incomparable perfections and glory. TLB
The distractions are enough to deter and occupy one from engaging in any meaningful spiritual exercise. We must meet these instructions with a high sense of strong desire.
God does not grant wishes, he grants DESIRE. PS 37:4 Delight yourself in the lord and he will give u the desires and secret petitions of your heart.
For anything worthwhile to happen to us, in us and through us there must be a burning desire that translate into definite action. Craving, appetite, fervent desire for something is the proof of the existence of that thing. Jesus said in Mat 5:6 "You're blessed when you've worked up a good appetite for God. He's food and drink in the best meal you'll ever eat.
Proofs of Strong Desire
We need strong desire to be able to stand strong and effective in these perilous days.
#1. What you are willing to leave. Ps 1:1- 2 Happy are those who reject the advice of evil people, who do not follow the example of sinners or join those who have no use for God. Instead, they find joy in obeying the Law of the LORD, and they study it day and night.
#2. What you are willing to pursue is the proof of your desire. – If you really want it you don’t just talk about you go for it. The woman with the issue of blood did not just wish she could be healed by Jesus she pressed through the multitude to get her desire fulfilled.
#3. It will birth strong prayers - Hannah did not just wished and get anxious, her strong desire led to strong prayers. Most times we pray the least about what we worry the most.
How to build the fire of desire.
#1. You must admire the picture of your desire.
#2. Require help from God through prayer - Prayer makes the picture brighter and bigger. It makes the picture brighter to arouse more desire and bigger to make you see your inability and his limitless ability.
#3. Acquire your desire – do something about your desire (something practical and positive) Gal 5:25 Since this is the kind of life we have chosen, the life of the Spirit, let us make sure that we do not just hold it as an idea in our heads or a sentiment in our hearts, but work out its implications in every detail of our lives.
#4. Refire don’t retire – with a strong desire you cannot easily be discouraged. Archbishop Benson Idaosa said: “if you must perspire to acquire your desire, do not retire only re-fire.”
Greater vehemency and importunity are needed in these days of mixed voices and strong attention. In the last days we must be addicted to God and allergic to the world.
The end time is designed in such a way that the faith of many will end up on the shelf. These are the days in which people are addicted to lust, and allergic to God.
2Ti 3:1 - 5 Don't be naive. There are difficult times ahead. As the end approaches, people are going to be self-absorbed, money-hungry, self-promoting, stuck-up, profane, contemptuous of parents, crude, coarse, dog-eat-dog, unbending, slanderers, impulsively wild, savage, cynical, treacherous, ruthless, bloated windbags, addicted to lust, and allergic to God. They'll make a show of religion, but behind the scenes they're animals. Stay clear of these people.
A thorough bred believer in this end-time will get stronger if the grace is optimized. That is why Paul said in Rom 5:20 All that passing laws against sin did was produce more lawbreakers. But sin didn't, and doesn't, have a chance in competition with the aggressive forgiveness we call grace. When it's sin versus grace, grace wins hands down.
God’s desire this day and time to walk before him and be like him tallies with the issues of putting forth our faith in a very strong manner. The desire of the creation is also to see people that will be of tremendous help. Solution oriented people that will bring succor to our world.
All the messages on being significantly different will be not be actualize without a strong desire for it. Ps 27:4 The one thing I want from God, the thing I seek most of all, is the privilege of meditating in his Temple, living in his presence every day of my life, delighting in his incomparable perfections and glory. TLB
The distractions are enough to deter and occupy one from engaging in any meaningful spiritual exercise. We must meet these instructions with a high sense of strong desire.
God does not grant wishes, he grants DESIRE. PS 37:4 Delight yourself in the lord and he will give u the desires and secret petitions of your heart.
For anything worthwhile to happen to us, in us and through us there must be a burning desire that translate into definite action. Craving, appetite, fervent desire for something is the proof of the existence of that thing. Jesus said in Mat 5:6 "You're blessed when you've worked up a good appetite for God. He's food and drink in the best meal you'll ever eat.
Proofs of Strong Desire
We need strong desire to be able to stand strong and effective in these perilous days.
#1. What you are willing to leave. Ps 1:1- 2 Happy are those who reject the advice of evil people, who do not follow the example of sinners or join those who have no use for God. Instead, they find joy in obeying the Law of the LORD, and they study it day and night.
#2. What you are willing to pursue is the proof of your desire. – If you really want it you don’t just talk about you go for it. The woman with the issue of blood did not just wish she could be healed by Jesus she pressed through the multitude to get her desire fulfilled.
#3. It will birth strong prayers - Hannah did not just wished and get anxious, her strong desire led to strong prayers. Most times we pray the least about what we worry the most.
How to build the fire of desire.
#1. You must admire the picture of your desire.
#2. Require help from God through prayer - Prayer makes the picture brighter and bigger. It makes the picture brighter to arouse more desire and bigger to make you see your inability and his limitless ability.
#3. Acquire your desire – do something about your desire (something practical and positive) Gal 5:25 Since this is the kind of life we have chosen, the life of the Spirit, let us make sure that we do not just hold it as an idea in our heads or a sentiment in our hearts, but work out its implications in every detail of our lives.
#4. Refire don’t retire – with a strong desire you cannot easily be discouraged. Archbishop Benson Idaosa said: “if you must perspire to acquire your desire, do not retire only re-fire.”
Greater vehemency and importunity are needed in these days of mixed voices and strong attention. In the last days we must be addicted to God and allergic to the world.
Saturday, September 4, 2010
Time Management is Ubiquitous
Time Management is Ubiquitous
I was traveling to a nearby town for a seminar and was considering how much time we have spent on the way there. I found out that I could check the time on many gadgets. There was time piece on the dash board of the car in digital format. I was wearing my wrist watch from which I checked time. Fortunately I was also using my laptop (I was not the one driving though), with time on the task bar. Just to gaze at the screen I have an idea of the time. And my mobile phone was by the side porch where I could check time. My first intention was to confirm the authenticity or the consistency of the all the time pieces I had around me then.
Something else struck me when I finished check all the time pieces I had. I found out that at every point in time for an average person there are at least two time pieces for him to keep track of time. We have been graced or opportune to make sure that we are on time for all activities. I also remembered that I have clocks many rooms in my house: living room, bedroom, study, and the kitchen. I am also thinking that the restroom should also have a clock.
The dilemma is why we find it difficult to manage our time properly. How come we get to meetings late when we have our cell phone and wrist watch with the time piece on our car dash board? Does it mean that checking the time does not translate into effective tracking of time?
Time management is in-built but enhanced by tools around us. I strongly believe the concept of time management. I have delivered seminars and papers on time management. I have read a lot on the topic of time management. I really appreciate an organized lifestyle. When things, people, events are not organized, I get seriously uncomfortable. Time management is a veritable tool to help in being effectively organized.
The tools of time management such as note pads, time pieces, things-to-do apparatus, calendar, reminders on the phone, etc. Many of the phones we have today are so programmed in such a way to enhance our consciousness of time. However, no matter how sophisticated the gadgets of time management, if there is no inborn decision or impetus to be conscious, the tools will be of no effect.
People slam there alarms because they are not ready to abide the time schedule stipulated. There is a concept of body clock. There are times we get to wake up before the alarm goes off because we have ingrained in our mind the consciousness to wake up at that time.
Time management starts with the worldview paradigm shift. It is that shift that will make all the tools available relevant.
I was traveling to a nearby town for a seminar and was considering how much time we have spent on the way there. I found out that I could check the time on many gadgets. There was time piece on the dash board of the car in digital format. I was wearing my wrist watch from which I checked time. Fortunately I was also using my laptop (I was not the one driving though), with time on the task bar. Just to gaze at the screen I have an idea of the time. And my mobile phone was by the side porch where I could check time. My first intention was to confirm the authenticity or the consistency of the all the time pieces I had around me then.
Something else struck me when I finished check all the time pieces I had. I found out that at every point in time for an average person there are at least two time pieces for him to keep track of time. We have been graced or opportune to make sure that we are on time for all activities. I also remembered that I have clocks many rooms in my house: living room, bedroom, study, and the kitchen. I am also thinking that the restroom should also have a clock.
The dilemma is why we find it difficult to manage our time properly. How come we get to meetings late when we have our cell phone and wrist watch with the time piece on our car dash board? Does it mean that checking the time does not translate into effective tracking of time?
Time management is in-built but enhanced by tools around us. I strongly believe the concept of time management. I have delivered seminars and papers on time management. I have read a lot on the topic of time management. I really appreciate an organized lifestyle. When things, people, events are not organized, I get seriously uncomfortable. Time management is a veritable tool to help in being effectively organized.
The tools of time management such as note pads, time pieces, things-to-do apparatus, calendar, reminders on the phone, etc. Many of the phones we have today are so programmed in such a way to enhance our consciousness of time. However, no matter how sophisticated the gadgets of time management, if there is no inborn decision or impetus to be conscious, the tools will be of no effect.
People slam there alarms because they are not ready to abide the time schedule stipulated. There is a concept of body clock. There are times we get to wake up before the alarm goes off because we have ingrained in our mind the consciousness to wake up at that time.
Time management starts with the worldview paradigm shift. It is that shift that will make all the tools available relevant.
Friday, August 13, 2010
Is friendship for a lifetime?
Twenty children cannot play for twenty years. That is an adage in my language. I really wish that I can answer the question of whether friendship should last forever affirmatively. Thinking about some old friends brings a lot of refreshing and great memories to mind. When I consider some childhood friends, I really wish we could get together and be friends again. The real fact is that some friendships are not meant to last forever. A friend of mine once told me that friendship can expire. I totally agree with him, because the relationship with some of my friends has actually expired. It is also sad to say that my friendship with that my friend has also expired.
If we hold tenaciously unto a relationship that has expired, we will just be wasting time, emotional energy, and money. Some other worthwhile relationships may even be hampered. I also need to emphasize that the kind of relationship that is referred to as friendship must be clearly defined otherwise we will be referring to colleagues, business associates, neighbours, school mates, acquaintances as friends. However, any of the aforementioned can eventually become a good friend. A good friend is the one that one opens his heart to us without reservation. A friend is the one that though he complains about your shortcomings, he goes all out to make sure that you are comfortable.
I came up with a short list of issues that may make some friendship to expire:
#1. Distance – I know for sure that a lot of people will surely disagree with me on this, owing to the advancement in information technology. I lost hope that I will never meet some of my friends again because we live thousands of miles apart and they have moved from one place to another with no forwarding addresses, but that is history now, thanks to Facebook and other social media. However, some friendship has declined in affection and quality because of distance. Out of sight is actually out of mind most times. The level of busyness that we experience these days makes it difficult to always refer to someone far away if there is someone nearby that can fill that position suitably.
#2. Belief System – As we grow in life, we embrace new belief system or paradigm. In my own opinion it absolutely difficult to be an intimate friend with someone of another faith. There is no way friends of differing belief systems will be sincere with themselves and not experience unnecessary fireworks. When belief systems of friends changes, their relationship will become obsolete.
#3. Interest/Aspiration – Friends are meant to have shared interests and aspirations. They may not like the same thing but should be relatively close. As we grow in life, interest changes and if our friends’ interest does not change, we may be heading towards divergence in our relationship. When value systems take a turn, we will definitely deviate on our course.
#4. Exposure – In as much as tolerance is a virtue needed for friendship to last, but when friends are poles apart as regards their exposure to life, room will be created for inferiority/superiority complex.
I really wish friendship could last forever but we must face the fact that life is phases and men are in sizes.
If we hold tenaciously unto a relationship that has expired, we will just be wasting time, emotional energy, and money. Some other worthwhile relationships may even be hampered. I also need to emphasize that the kind of relationship that is referred to as friendship must be clearly defined otherwise we will be referring to colleagues, business associates, neighbours, school mates, acquaintances as friends. However, any of the aforementioned can eventually become a good friend. A good friend is the one that one opens his heart to us without reservation. A friend is the one that though he complains about your shortcomings, he goes all out to make sure that you are comfortable.
I came up with a short list of issues that may make some friendship to expire:
#1. Distance – I know for sure that a lot of people will surely disagree with me on this, owing to the advancement in information technology. I lost hope that I will never meet some of my friends again because we live thousands of miles apart and they have moved from one place to another with no forwarding addresses, but that is history now, thanks to Facebook and other social media. However, some friendship has declined in affection and quality because of distance. Out of sight is actually out of mind most times. The level of busyness that we experience these days makes it difficult to always refer to someone far away if there is someone nearby that can fill that position suitably.
#2. Belief System – As we grow in life, we embrace new belief system or paradigm. In my own opinion it absolutely difficult to be an intimate friend with someone of another faith. There is no way friends of differing belief systems will be sincere with themselves and not experience unnecessary fireworks. When belief systems of friends changes, their relationship will become obsolete.
#3. Interest/Aspiration – Friends are meant to have shared interests and aspirations. They may not like the same thing but should be relatively close. As we grow in life, interest changes and if our friends’ interest does not change, we may be heading towards divergence in our relationship. When value systems take a turn, we will definitely deviate on our course.
#4. Exposure – In as much as tolerance is a virtue needed for friendship to last, but when friends are poles apart as regards their exposure to life, room will be created for inferiority/superiority complex.
I really wish friendship could last forever but we must face the fact that life is phases and men are in sizes.
Teacher tips: Acceptable attire for teachers
The way you dress is the way you will be addressed. As teachers we must be careful the way we appear as this leave a significant impression on both the parents and the pupils. The parents will be comfortable if they see a responsibly dressed adult taking care and instructing their children. The kids too will not be overly distracted with an inappropriately dressed adult.
As teachers we must be deliberate about our outfits. Teachers are expected to people that command respect in the society. The way you dress to work also speaks volumes on the importance you place on your job. Teachers in most part of the world are looked down upon. The teaching profession is one of the lowest paid jobs and that can also get into the psyche of teachers making them to take many things for granted. But for someone who has taken the profession as a calling and also derives a sense of purpose and joy from it, our appearance has a lot to do with our efficiency on the job.
These are some ideas that may help in dressing appropriately as teachers:
#1. Be discreet: - In as much as we try to be trendy as teachers, we must be careful that whatever we wear is discreet. Ladies should try to wear skirts that are knee length and trousers that are not excessively tight. Attention must be given to the kind of blouse that the ladies wear so that cleavages are not exposed; this will be a great distraction to the older boys especially in high school. We had a situation once, where one of our female teachers who happen to be a little busty wears low blouses that show much cleavage. We discovered that many of the boys were much distracted by this and the school management had to strongly advise her to adjust her wardrobe. The school is a place where morality must be given high priority. Male teachers must endeavour to tuck in their shirts and look smart. Jeans trousers should be worn only when the occasion demands. Colour combination both for male and female must be given adequate attention. Colour riot can disrupt your lessons.
#2. Be appropriate: - our sense of fashion as teachers must be high as we are meant to be models to the upcoming generation. When there are special occasions, our dressing must match the event. For instance a three-piece suit will be inappropriate for sports event in the school. Jeans and t-shirt will just be fine. But ensure that those jeans are without wholes on the knees. Whenever you are going to meet with parents, whether for a conference or other special issues, formal dressing is highly recommended.
#3. Shoe and jewelries:- it is very essential to be moderate with the kind of shoes that we put on. Ladies shoe be wary of high heel shoes in learning environment since teaching requires moving around a lot. Those high heel shoes make a lot of noise and bring enormous distraction. Guys should endeavour to wear not too big a shoe that is meant for long distance hiking and mountaineering but moderate shoe that makes them comfortable moving around in the classroom and hallway.
#4. Make up and others:- Ladies should try and be temperate with makeup. I am not advocating for plain appearance, but the makeup should not be too ‘loud’. Hair style should also be moderate, not the type that will require you adjusting them intermittently. Guys should shave regularly; an unkempt beard or moustache tells a lot about an individual.
Teachers are models; not as celebrities but standards for good and proper conduct. So attention must be given to the way we appear. Our attire must never be a distraction but a tool to arrest the students’ attention. As role models, we are expected to be prim and proper always.
As teachers we must be deliberate about our outfits. Teachers are expected to people that command respect in the society. The way you dress to work also speaks volumes on the importance you place on your job. Teachers in most part of the world are looked down upon. The teaching profession is one of the lowest paid jobs and that can also get into the psyche of teachers making them to take many things for granted. But for someone who has taken the profession as a calling and also derives a sense of purpose and joy from it, our appearance has a lot to do with our efficiency on the job.
These are some ideas that may help in dressing appropriately as teachers:
#1. Be discreet: - In as much as we try to be trendy as teachers, we must be careful that whatever we wear is discreet. Ladies should try to wear skirts that are knee length and trousers that are not excessively tight. Attention must be given to the kind of blouse that the ladies wear so that cleavages are not exposed; this will be a great distraction to the older boys especially in high school. We had a situation once, where one of our female teachers who happen to be a little busty wears low blouses that show much cleavage. We discovered that many of the boys were much distracted by this and the school management had to strongly advise her to adjust her wardrobe. The school is a place where morality must be given high priority. Male teachers must endeavour to tuck in their shirts and look smart. Jeans trousers should be worn only when the occasion demands. Colour combination both for male and female must be given adequate attention. Colour riot can disrupt your lessons.
#2. Be appropriate: - our sense of fashion as teachers must be high as we are meant to be models to the upcoming generation. When there are special occasions, our dressing must match the event. For instance a three-piece suit will be inappropriate for sports event in the school. Jeans and t-shirt will just be fine. But ensure that those jeans are without wholes on the knees. Whenever you are going to meet with parents, whether for a conference or other special issues, formal dressing is highly recommended.
#3. Shoe and jewelries:- it is very essential to be moderate with the kind of shoes that we put on. Ladies shoe be wary of high heel shoes in learning environment since teaching requires moving around a lot. Those high heel shoes make a lot of noise and bring enormous distraction. Guys should endeavour to wear not too big a shoe that is meant for long distance hiking and mountaineering but moderate shoe that makes them comfortable moving around in the classroom and hallway.
#4. Make up and others:- Ladies should try and be temperate with makeup. I am not advocating for plain appearance, but the makeup should not be too ‘loud’. Hair style should also be moderate, not the type that will require you adjusting them intermittently. Guys should shave regularly; an unkempt beard or moustache tells a lot about an individual.
Teachers are models; not as celebrities but standards for good and proper conduct. So attention must be given to the way we appear. Our attire must never be a distraction but a tool to arrest the students’ attention. As role models, we are expected to be prim and proper always.
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
How to build a good relationship with your child's teacher
I have been a teacher for more than a decade but my first child started attending school last academic session. It is a different ball game to be a parent. I have related with many parents of the pupils and students that I have taught and I can describe the variations of my relationships with them as either warm, productive, tense, etc. I made up my mind before my son started school that I will do my best to make sure that I become the kind of parent with whom I had the best of relationship.
Building a good relationship with your child’s teacher is very critical to the academic success and psychological development of the child. A good relationship will definitely have a relay effect on how the teacher approaches or relates with your child which in turn affect the academic performance of the child. This will ultimately impact the worldview of the child as regards school.
The following ideas will help build a good and productive relationship with your child’s teacher:
1. Relate with the teacher as a professional – it is quite important to relate with the teacher as someone that knows his or her salt. We may know a lot of things as parents but the teacher has a technical training that equips him to relate with children appropriately. If you try to give instructions or ideas to teachers that suggest to him that you view him as incompetent, the relay effect might not be pleasant on your child. I do my best to let my son’s teacher know that she has the carte blanche to educate my son, despite my superior experience.
2. Express your reservation tactfully: - there are times that I have noticed errors in the teacher’s assessment of my son’s work or some grammatical mistakes in the comments or communicators. I just gently correct her and suggest the right thing to her. A teacher may be on the offensive if you correct his error in a derogatory manner.
3. Make the Parent-Teacher Conference a friendly meeting: - Most times, if care is not taken, Parent-Teacher Conference can generate a lot of fireworks. Do not go to meeting with a long list of complaints about the teacher’s shortcomings. Approach the meeting with an attitude of a partner in progress as regards your child academics. Offer suggestions discreetly.
4. Express your concerns or complaints to the teacher first: - many parents get so angry about some issues about the teacher’s shortcomings or oversight that they go directly to the school management to report. This approach will definitely destroy your relationship with the teacher. Sort out the issue with teacher first. If you are not satisfied with the result after several attempts, then meet the management.
5. Acquaint yourself with some details about the teacher: - Your child teacher will feel elated if you send her a birthday card or text message. Get to know his cell phone number, a fair idea of where he lives, and some other details that he will be comfortable to disclose.
6. Never criticize the teacher in your child presence; your child might relay those unwholesome comments to him. That will create disharmony between you and the teacher.
7. Appreciate the teacher with comments and gifts: - a teacher will be glad to receive good comments about his effort about your child’s academics. Gifts during special seasons such as Christmas will be a good idea.
These ideas will surely help to build a good and worthwhile relationship with your child’s teacher. A good rapport with the teacher will naturally make him have an excellent relationship with your child and this requires a deliberate approach.
Building a good relationship with your child’s teacher is very critical to the academic success and psychological development of the child. A good relationship will definitely have a relay effect on how the teacher approaches or relates with your child which in turn affect the academic performance of the child. This will ultimately impact the worldview of the child as regards school.
The following ideas will help build a good and productive relationship with your child’s teacher:
1. Relate with the teacher as a professional – it is quite important to relate with the teacher as someone that knows his or her salt. We may know a lot of things as parents but the teacher has a technical training that equips him to relate with children appropriately. If you try to give instructions or ideas to teachers that suggest to him that you view him as incompetent, the relay effect might not be pleasant on your child. I do my best to let my son’s teacher know that she has the carte blanche to educate my son, despite my superior experience.
2. Express your reservation tactfully: - there are times that I have noticed errors in the teacher’s assessment of my son’s work or some grammatical mistakes in the comments or communicators. I just gently correct her and suggest the right thing to her. A teacher may be on the offensive if you correct his error in a derogatory manner.
3. Make the Parent-Teacher Conference a friendly meeting: - Most times, if care is not taken, Parent-Teacher Conference can generate a lot of fireworks. Do not go to meeting with a long list of complaints about the teacher’s shortcomings. Approach the meeting with an attitude of a partner in progress as regards your child academics. Offer suggestions discreetly.
4. Express your concerns or complaints to the teacher first: - many parents get so angry about some issues about the teacher’s shortcomings or oversight that they go directly to the school management to report. This approach will definitely destroy your relationship with the teacher. Sort out the issue with teacher first. If you are not satisfied with the result after several attempts, then meet the management.
5. Acquaint yourself with some details about the teacher: - Your child teacher will feel elated if you send her a birthday card or text message. Get to know his cell phone number, a fair idea of where he lives, and some other details that he will be comfortable to disclose.
6. Never criticize the teacher in your child presence; your child might relay those unwholesome comments to him. That will create disharmony between you and the teacher.
7. Appreciate the teacher with comments and gifts: - a teacher will be glad to receive good comments about his effort about your child’s academics. Gifts during special seasons such as Christmas will be a good idea.
These ideas will surely help to build a good and worthwhile relationship with your child’s teacher. A good rapport with the teacher will naturally make him have an excellent relationship with your child and this requires a deliberate approach.
Sunday, August 1, 2010
Should cell phone use be banned while driving?
A legistlation against abortion will receive my emphatic NO. But if you want to know what I think on the issue of using cell phone while driving , I will strongly support that it should be banned and anyone found flaunting the law be heavily fined.
Now you are wondering why I would be pro-choice and maintain a stern position on using cell phone while driving. Abortion is a personal decision and the effect both emotional and health-wise is also personal. When someone aborts, the adverse effect is limited to her. Meanwhile, the adverse impact of using cell phone while driving is not likely to be limited to the person alone; but other road users.
The situation of people making call calls, answering calls, sending text messages while driving in my country - Nigeria, is very worrisome. A more strigent approach is very necessary to bring about order.
It is amazing how technologically dependent we have allowed ourselves to become. Most people become shaken and restless when they misplace their cell phone as if their lives depend on it. In as much as cell phone is quite useful, we must not allow ourselves to become its slave.
What would you say of such time when there was no mobile phone? Were people not living well and still doing good businesses? Why would we now allow what suppose to be a tool become our master? A lot of people complain of the fact that there could be emergencies that need to be attended to immediately. What if there are no possible means of getting to the scene of emergency after you have taking the call?
Using cell phone while driving brings about loss of concentration. If it is good news you become over-excited and slam the accelerator beyond acceptable speed, bad news may make an individual slam the break suddenly and cause the vehicle to summersault.
My major discontent with the use of cell phone is that when these accidents happen, in most cases, other road users are affected. Pedestrians just taking a walk may be hit. Someone driving at required speed may be run into. Other people in the same vehicle may also be badly affected.
I seriously support the ban on use of cell phone while driving, because whatever we need to communicate can be done while we park the car and take the call or reply the text. Can you imagine someone sending a text message while driving? In as much as I believe in multitasking, making a call or reading a text message while driving is ‘suicidal multitasking’.
We need a strong enlightenment on how technological dependent we have become. We also need to know how to cure ourselves of the hurry sickness that is eating into the fabrics of our society.
Now you are wondering why I would be pro-choice and maintain a stern position on using cell phone while driving. Abortion is a personal decision and the effect both emotional and health-wise is also personal. When someone aborts, the adverse effect is limited to her. Meanwhile, the adverse impact of using cell phone while driving is not likely to be limited to the person alone; but other road users.
The situation of people making call calls, answering calls, sending text messages while driving in my country - Nigeria, is very worrisome. A more strigent approach is very necessary to bring about order.
It is amazing how technologically dependent we have allowed ourselves to become. Most people become shaken and restless when they misplace their cell phone as if their lives depend on it. In as much as cell phone is quite useful, we must not allow ourselves to become its slave.
What would you say of such time when there was no mobile phone? Were people not living well and still doing good businesses? Why would we now allow what suppose to be a tool become our master? A lot of people complain of the fact that there could be emergencies that need to be attended to immediately. What if there are no possible means of getting to the scene of emergency after you have taking the call?
Using cell phone while driving brings about loss of concentration. If it is good news you become over-excited and slam the accelerator beyond acceptable speed, bad news may make an individual slam the break suddenly and cause the vehicle to summersault.
My major discontent with the use of cell phone is that when these accidents happen, in most cases, other road users are affected. Pedestrians just taking a walk may be hit. Someone driving at required speed may be run into. Other people in the same vehicle may also be badly affected.
I seriously support the ban on use of cell phone while driving, because whatever we need to communicate can be done while we park the car and take the call or reply the text. Can you imagine someone sending a text message while driving? In as much as I believe in multitasking, making a call or reading a text message while driving is ‘suicidal multitasking’.
We need a strong enlightenment on how technological dependent we have become. We also need to know how to cure ourselves of the hurry sickness that is eating into the fabrics of our society.
Amazing Ruth
The story of Ruth is an outstanding piece in the Bible. The story keeps inspiring me every time I read it. I have been a Christian for exactly Twenty years now. I have read the book of Ruth severally and it amazing how Ruth plunged herself into the faith and beliefs of the Jews.
It is undeniably true that Ruth was a one of the great grandmothers of Jesus Christ. How can you reconcile an outsider to the faith of the Jews sharing in the lineage of the Saviour? Technically speaking, everyone on the family tree of Jesus should be a Jew. But Ruth got herself grafted there by unequalled devotion and unwavering commitment.
Can you imagine an Indian lady married to a Pakistani (countries that have always been at loggerhead) followed her mother-in-law to Pakistan after the death of her husband with no child born to him? What Ruth did was quite unthinkable, but I consider it was out of sheer commitment to her husband and by extension her mother-in-law. Moab and Israel were always at one another’s neck. Ruth did not even think that she would be stigmatized or segregated. She followed Naomi all the same.
Orpah her mate wasted no time after a little persuasion to go back. What Ruth said to Naomi has not failed to astonish me over the years: But Ruth answered, "Don't ask me to leave you! Let me go with you. Wherever you go, I will go; wherever you live, I will live. Your people will be my people, and your God will be my God. Wherever you die, I will die, and that is where I will be buried. May the LORD's worst punishment come upon me if I let anything but death separate me from you!" Ruth 1:16-17 (Message Bible). I kept wondering whether Ruth knew the superiority of the God of Israel over the numerous gods of the Moabites. She plunged into that covenant by absolute loyalty.
Another thing that caught my attention about Ruth was her relentless industry. She was extremely diligent when she was gleaning at Boaz’s field. It was recorded that she was on that field all day working. Ladies like that are difficult to come by these days.
The unseen hand of God was also at work in the life of Ruth. How did Ruth find herself on Boaz’s field? Why not another man’s field? I like what Gill commentary says “the providence of God so ordering and directing it; for though it was hap and chance to her, and what some people call good luck, it was according to the purpose, and by the providence and direction of God that she came to the reapers in that part of the field Boaz, a near kinsman of her father-in-law, was owner of, and asked leave of them to glean and follow them.”
I also love Naomi’s kind approach. She was very considerate and supportive for Ruth. God cannot but reward such wonderful gesture. Ruth getting married to Boaz – a rich man, will definitely bring some level of comfort to Naomi.
Ruth finding herself in the genealogy of Jesus Christ validates that principle that God is not a respecter of persons. If we position ourselves aright by the leading of His Spirit, we will be greatly used of Him. Act 10:34-35 Peter began to speak: "I now realize that it is true that God treats everyone on the same basis. Those who fear him and do what is right are acceptable to him, no matter what race they belong to.
It is undeniably true that Ruth was a one of the great grandmothers of Jesus Christ. How can you reconcile an outsider to the faith of the Jews sharing in the lineage of the Saviour? Technically speaking, everyone on the family tree of Jesus should be a Jew. But Ruth got herself grafted there by unequalled devotion and unwavering commitment.
Can you imagine an Indian lady married to a Pakistani (countries that have always been at loggerhead) followed her mother-in-law to Pakistan after the death of her husband with no child born to him? What Ruth did was quite unthinkable, but I consider it was out of sheer commitment to her husband and by extension her mother-in-law. Moab and Israel were always at one another’s neck. Ruth did not even think that she would be stigmatized or segregated. She followed Naomi all the same.
Orpah her mate wasted no time after a little persuasion to go back. What Ruth said to Naomi has not failed to astonish me over the years: But Ruth answered, "Don't ask me to leave you! Let me go with you. Wherever you go, I will go; wherever you live, I will live. Your people will be my people, and your God will be my God. Wherever you die, I will die, and that is where I will be buried. May the LORD's worst punishment come upon me if I let anything but death separate me from you!" Ruth 1:16-17 (Message Bible). I kept wondering whether Ruth knew the superiority of the God of Israel over the numerous gods of the Moabites. She plunged into that covenant by absolute loyalty.
Another thing that caught my attention about Ruth was her relentless industry. She was extremely diligent when she was gleaning at Boaz’s field. It was recorded that she was on that field all day working. Ladies like that are difficult to come by these days.
The unseen hand of God was also at work in the life of Ruth. How did Ruth find herself on Boaz’s field? Why not another man’s field? I like what Gill commentary says “the providence of God so ordering and directing it; for though it was hap and chance to her, and what some people call good luck, it was according to the purpose, and by the providence and direction of God that she came to the reapers in that part of the field Boaz, a near kinsman of her father-in-law, was owner of, and asked leave of them to glean and follow them.”
I also love Naomi’s kind approach. She was very considerate and supportive for Ruth. God cannot but reward such wonderful gesture. Ruth getting married to Boaz – a rich man, will definitely bring some level of comfort to Naomi.
Ruth finding herself in the genealogy of Jesus Christ validates that principle that God is not a respecter of persons. If we position ourselves aright by the leading of His Spirit, we will be greatly used of Him. Act 10:34-35 Peter began to speak: "I now realize that it is true that God treats everyone on the same basis. Those who fear him and do what is right are acceptable to him, no matter what race they belong to.
Accurate Friendship
Friendship is a concept of human existence and community that has spanned through the ages. Friendship is a situation where there is mutual attachment and intimacy. It is a level of relationship that goes beyond acquaintanceship. It is deeper than just knowing few details about one another. The fact that someone tells you her secret does not qualify you to be his friend. True friendship takes a lot of time and effort to build but when attained it is worth the endeavor. Life is not lived in an island. True intimate friendship is an invaluable asset.
Sometimes it takes being away from or losing our friends to appreciate them. That was my experience with my good friend while in the university. He had to go away for his industrial attachment and I thought I would not miss him, since we will still communicate through letters. There were no mobile phones in Nigeria then. Emails were no commonplace. It took both us the first week to realize that we were precious to one another. Issue that we will discuss immediately we get back to the hostel and get off our minds had to wait for weeks. Postal service usually takes a minimum of two weeks then.
Aspects of friendship that determine the best relationship
*Fondness – it is impossible to be a friend with someone that you do not share fondness. A good friendship must be characterized by love, affection and pleasant feeling. You must always want to be in the company of your friend.
*Mutual respect – friends are meant to respect one another. Mutual regards is a necessity if friendship is going to last. It becomes quite annoying when you give due regards to someone and there is no reciprocal approach from the person. No matter how unrelenting, tolerant, and resilient you are, you will eventually burn out.
* Loyalty – friendship will run smoothly when the parties involved can freely share deep feelings and concerns without being afraid that it will hit the headline. It is also important to note that when friends exhibit a high degree of devotion and duty to one another, their level of intimacy will increase.
* Absolute trust – Real friends trust each other. Friends do not suspect. They believe all things and take things at face value.
* Empathy – Empathy is taking a walk in someone else’s moccasin and then gain a firsthand experience of the person’s feeling. Friends feel for one another. If your friends feel joyous and elated, you will not find it difficult to identify with the person immediately.
The qualities to look for in a friend
* The person that will be your friend must share your belief. This is very important because if there is divergence in belief, there will be war at every point there is difference of opinion. It is very difficult for me to agree that people of different belief systems can truly be friends. They may just spend their whole life and time in the relationship tolerating each other.
* Friends must have shared interest. Although it may not be absolute that they will like the same thing hundred percent, the degree of divergence must not be too wide. Their likes and dislikes must have some level of correlation. A party in a friendship cannot be a chronic partying type while the other is deeply involved in church activities. It will not just flow at all. Birds of the same feather must flock together; otherwise they may just be keeping a company that will scatter like a house of cards.
* A friend must be ready to sacrifice. Jesus said in John 15:12 - 15 “This is my command: Love one another the way I loved you. This is the very best way to love. Put your life on the line for your friends. You are my friends when you do the things I command you. I'm no longer calling you servants because servants don't understand what their master is thinking and planning. No, I've named you friends because I've let you in on everything I've heard from the Father.” Friends are meant to be there when we rejoice and cry with us when we mourn. Fair weather fellows cannot make good friends.
* Patience – A good friend must be patient. It is said that even identical twins born of the same mother, proceeding from the same womb on the same day will still have differences. It is therefore important that friends must be ready to endure their differences and respect their uniqueness. There will moment of intense interactions, but the undergirding factor will be love woven with patience. Pro 18:24 “Friends come and friends go, but a true friend sticks by you like family. “ Friends must be ready to spend and be spent. Pro 19:6 ‘Lots of people flock around a generous person; everyone's a friend to the philanthropist.’ This is close to the sacrifice factor. Friendship sometimes can be tasking but when there is mutual interest and concern, pain and demands are nothing but joys to savour that you have been of help to someone.
* Frankness – in friendship, there must be absolute trust and openness that makes it possible for the other party to call one to order. If my friend will not be bold enough to tell me when I am sliding off the track, then we are just playing games. Openness is a critical quality of enduring friendship. I remember when my friend that I mentioned earlier gently called me aside and asked about my prayer life. We were staying in the same room while in the hostel at the university. I used to wake up exactly 2am to go to a secluded place to pray till 3 or 4am. It got to a time that I got busy with some other activities that I was not waking up to pray again. He observed this for some time and found out what the matter was. That brought me back on track to resume my spiritual discipline. Happy is the man that has someone to point out his error to him.
* Fun – I must be relaxed with my friends to have fun with them. When pleasantries are shared in very official manner, then we are just business partners or colleagues. Friends throw banters and laugh hilariously. They can go to any length to enjoy themselves. That is why good friends are always looking out for one another to just relax and fun, because they are sure that they cannot be misunderstood for any action or statement.
How to maintain Enduring Friendship
*Talk – conversation is very important if a relationship is going to work. When we talk we bare our minds and express our feelings. It very easy now to maintain contact with friends. In the days we were growing up, we write letters and wait for a minimum of three weeks to get a reply, but I can be in Nigeria and engage in Instant Messaging with my friend in Seattle. Distance is no longer a barrier to converse.
*Listen – listening is an art that we all need to learn, because it is difficult for people to keep what is their mind and wait for the other person to finish saying his own. It is important not to take listening for granted, never realizing what it means to really listen to a friend.
Give – friendship is about give and take. If you are always receiving from a friend and not ready to give no matter how small, your friend will soon be tired of you irrespective of how generous the person is. We must learn to give time, money, gifts, and attention to our friends.
* Take – I need to add that we must be humble enough to take from our friends. Some fellows are so proud that they consider collecting things from their friends makes them inferior. True friends never think of whether they are inferior or superior. Friends must think equality in their relationship.
*Remember the little things – it is quite important to acknowledge that despite you have shared interest with your friends; you still need to understand that they are unique; it is wise to know the little things that make them happy or sad.
* Respect their privacy – this sounds ironic, but if friendship is going to work, we must be ready to give a distance when you sense that your friends need it. For instance if your friend is a married man and you realize he does not want to discuss a particular issue that has to do with his wife, leave it and respect him for that. You never may tell that he may call you on phone the next minute spilling everything out, but if you try to force him, he may get irritated. I always ask my friends the tactical question ‘do you want to talk about this later?’ If they never bring it up by themselves I never ask as long as it is not fundamental.
* Affirm – affirmation is a potent tool for maintaining friendship. We must not be found being economical in praising our friends, it can greatly affect their outlook to life because they believe in the sincerity of our judgment.
*Forgive and forget – forgiving those that you love and trust is a huge task, but for the relationship to grow we must forgive when we are hurt. From experience, the relationship grows stronger after a session of quarrels and eventual forgiveness and forgetting. It is very important to trust God not to make reference to issue dealt with in the past when we have issues to sort out as it may indicate that we never forgave in the first place.
*Sincerity – sincerity is allowing your action to be judged by sunlight, in which is there is no hidden agenda. In friendship, openness is a critical factor that will make the relationship last for long
Soul Connection?
The concept of soul connection has many varied explanations that one has to be careful accepting it hook, line and sinker. In my own understanding, soul connection should be taken for what it is, a connection of the mind, the will and emotion. Friends will have to think alike- that is the mind, I must be excited and saddened by what excites and make my friends sad, that is the emotion, and I must have relatively similar decision pattern with my friend – that is the will. So I agree that soul connection is necessary for lasting and joyful friendship if it is line with my view. David and Jonathan had soul connection and that made their friendship worthwhile.
Christian Love and Accurate Friendship
Friendship can never be accurate unless it based on the principles of the scriptures. That may sound too strict but narrow is the Way. Our kingdom runs on the principles of absolutes. Jesus Christ laid the example for us. All the attributes and qualities aforementioned cannot be exercised unless the love of Christ is shed abroad in our hearts. Paul stated those attributes of love that are essential for lasting friendship in 1Co 13:4 -7 ‘ Love never gives up. Love cares more for others than for self. Love doesn't want what it doesn't have. Love doesn't strut, Doesn't have a swelled head, doesn't force itself on others, Isn't always "me first," Doesn't fly off the handle, Doesn't keep score of the sins of others, doesn't revel when others grovel, Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth, puts up with anything, Trusts God always, Always looks for the best, Never looks back, But keeps going to the end.’
We will not be able to exhibit those qualities listed above unless we have that love of Christ controlling us. 2Co 5:14 ‘We are ruled by the love of Christ, now that we recognize that one man died for everyone, which means that they all share in his death.’
Sometimes it takes being away from or losing our friends to appreciate them. That was my experience with my good friend while in the university. He had to go away for his industrial attachment and I thought I would not miss him, since we will still communicate through letters. There were no mobile phones in Nigeria then. Emails were no commonplace. It took both us the first week to realize that we were precious to one another. Issue that we will discuss immediately we get back to the hostel and get off our minds had to wait for weeks. Postal service usually takes a minimum of two weeks then.
Aspects of friendship that determine the best relationship
*Fondness – it is impossible to be a friend with someone that you do not share fondness. A good friendship must be characterized by love, affection and pleasant feeling. You must always want to be in the company of your friend.
*Mutual respect – friends are meant to respect one another. Mutual regards is a necessity if friendship is going to last. It becomes quite annoying when you give due regards to someone and there is no reciprocal approach from the person. No matter how unrelenting, tolerant, and resilient you are, you will eventually burn out.
* Loyalty – friendship will run smoothly when the parties involved can freely share deep feelings and concerns without being afraid that it will hit the headline. It is also important to note that when friends exhibit a high degree of devotion and duty to one another, their level of intimacy will increase.
* Absolute trust – Real friends trust each other. Friends do not suspect. They believe all things and take things at face value.
* Empathy – Empathy is taking a walk in someone else’s moccasin and then gain a firsthand experience of the person’s feeling. Friends feel for one another. If your friends feel joyous and elated, you will not find it difficult to identify with the person immediately.
The qualities to look for in a friend
* The person that will be your friend must share your belief. This is very important because if there is divergence in belief, there will be war at every point there is difference of opinion. It is very difficult for me to agree that people of different belief systems can truly be friends. They may just spend their whole life and time in the relationship tolerating each other.
* Friends must have shared interest. Although it may not be absolute that they will like the same thing hundred percent, the degree of divergence must not be too wide. Their likes and dislikes must have some level of correlation. A party in a friendship cannot be a chronic partying type while the other is deeply involved in church activities. It will not just flow at all. Birds of the same feather must flock together; otherwise they may just be keeping a company that will scatter like a house of cards.
* A friend must be ready to sacrifice. Jesus said in John 15:12 - 15 “This is my command: Love one another the way I loved you. This is the very best way to love. Put your life on the line for your friends. You are my friends when you do the things I command you. I'm no longer calling you servants because servants don't understand what their master is thinking and planning. No, I've named you friends because I've let you in on everything I've heard from the Father.” Friends are meant to be there when we rejoice and cry with us when we mourn. Fair weather fellows cannot make good friends.
* Patience – A good friend must be patient. It is said that even identical twins born of the same mother, proceeding from the same womb on the same day will still have differences. It is therefore important that friends must be ready to endure their differences and respect their uniqueness. There will moment of intense interactions, but the undergirding factor will be love woven with patience. Pro 18:24 “Friends come and friends go, but a true friend sticks by you like family. “ Friends must be ready to spend and be spent. Pro 19:6 ‘Lots of people flock around a generous person; everyone's a friend to the philanthropist.’ This is close to the sacrifice factor. Friendship sometimes can be tasking but when there is mutual interest and concern, pain and demands are nothing but joys to savour that you have been of help to someone.
* Frankness – in friendship, there must be absolute trust and openness that makes it possible for the other party to call one to order. If my friend will not be bold enough to tell me when I am sliding off the track, then we are just playing games. Openness is a critical quality of enduring friendship. I remember when my friend that I mentioned earlier gently called me aside and asked about my prayer life. We were staying in the same room while in the hostel at the university. I used to wake up exactly 2am to go to a secluded place to pray till 3 or 4am. It got to a time that I got busy with some other activities that I was not waking up to pray again. He observed this for some time and found out what the matter was. That brought me back on track to resume my spiritual discipline. Happy is the man that has someone to point out his error to him.
* Fun – I must be relaxed with my friends to have fun with them. When pleasantries are shared in very official manner, then we are just business partners or colleagues. Friends throw banters and laugh hilariously. They can go to any length to enjoy themselves. That is why good friends are always looking out for one another to just relax and fun, because they are sure that they cannot be misunderstood for any action or statement.
How to maintain Enduring Friendship
*Talk – conversation is very important if a relationship is going to work. When we talk we bare our minds and express our feelings. It very easy now to maintain contact with friends. In the days we were growing up, we write letters and wait for a minimum of three weeks to get a reply, but I can be in Nigeria and engage in Instant Messaging with my friend in Seattle. Distance is no longer a barrier to converse.
*Listen – listening is an art that we all need to learn, because it is difficult for people to keep what is their mind and wait for the other person to finish saying his own. It is important not to take listening for granted, never realizing what it means to really listen to a friend.
Give – friendship is about give and take. If you are always receiving from a friend and not ready to give no matter how small, your friend will soon be tired of you irrespective of how generous the person is. We must learn to give time, money, gifts, and attention to our friends.
* Take – I need to add that we must be humble enough to take from our friends. Some fellows are so proud that they consider collecting things from their friends makes them inferior. True friends never think of whether they are inferior or superior. Friends must think equality in their relationship.
*Remember the little things – it is quite important to acknowledge that despite you have shared interest with your friends; you still need to understand that they are unique; it is wise to know the little things that make them happy or sad.
* Respect their privacy – this sounds ironic, but if friendship is going to work, we must be ready to give a distance when you sense that your friends need it. For instance if your friend is a married man and you realize he does not want to discuss a particular issue that has to do with his wife, leave it and respect him for that. You never may tell that he may call you on phone the next minute spilling everything out, but if you try to force him, he may get irritated. I always ask my friends the tactical question ‘do you want to talk about this later?’ If they never bring it up by themselves I never ask as long as it is not fundamental.
* Affirm – affirmation is a potent tool for maintaining friendship. We must not be found being economical in praising our friends, it can greatly affect their outlook to life because they believe in the sincerity of our judgment.
*Forgive and forget – forgiving those that you love and trust is a huge task, but for the relationship to grow we must forgive when we are hurt. From experience, the relationship grows stronger after a session of quarrels and eventual forgiveness and forgetting. It is very important to trust God not to make reference to issue dealt with in the past when we have issues to sort out as it may indicate that we never forgave in the first place.
*Sincerity – sincerity is allowing your action to be judged by sunlight, in which is there is no hidden agenda. In friendship, openness is a critical factor that will make the relationship last for long
Soul Connection?
The concept of soul connection has many varied explanations that one has to be careful accepting it hook, line and sinker. In my own understanding, soul connection should be taken for what it is, a connection of the mind, the will and emotion. Friends will have to think alike- that is the mind, I must be excited and saddened by what excites and make my friends sad, that is the emotion, and I must have relatively similar decision pattern with my friend – that is the will. So I agree that soul connection is necessary for lasting and joyful friendship if it is line with my view. David and Jonathan had soul connection and that made their friendship worthwhile.
Christian Love and Accurate Friendship
Friendship can never be accurate unless it based on the principles of the scriptures. That may sound too strict but narrow is the Way. Our kingdom runs on the principles of absolutes. Jesus Christ laid the example for us. All the attributes and qualities aforementioned cannot be exercised unless the love of Christ is shed abroad in our hearts. Paul stated those attributes of love that are essential for lasting friendship in 1Co 13:4 -7 ‘ Love never gives up. Love cares more for others than for self. Love doesn't want what it doesn't have. Love doesn't strut, Doesn't have a swelled head, doesn't force itself on others, Isn't always "me first," Doesn't fly off the handle, Doesn't keep score of the sins of others, doesn't revel when others grovel, Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth, puts up with anything, Trusts God always, Always looks for the best, Never looks back, But keeps going to the end.’
We will not be able to exhibit those qualities listed above unless we have that love of Christ controlling us. 2Co 5:14 ‘We are ruled by the love of Christ, now that we recognize that one man died for everyone, which means that they all share in his death.’
Friday, June 18, 2010
TIPS ON SHOWING RESPECT
Respect is a virtue that everyone expects to receive. Be it your boss, subordinate, colleagues, husband, wife, child, parents, sibling, relative, in-laws, neighbour; everyone merits respect. It is an attitude that makes relationships work and last. It does not matter the ages or status of those involved, everyone deserves respect.
To respect someone is to defer and admire the person. I think everybody needs that admiration whether younger or older. To show respect to people, the following tips will be useful:
* Use title of respect creatively
It is important to know what kind of title makes the other person comfortable. If the company policy stipulates that all staff should be addressed on first name basis but you find your immediate boss uncomfortable with you calling his first name as it is in my country, please put a title of respect that makes your relationship flow smoothly.
* Manner of greetings/pleasantries matters
Not everyone in your life will take a ‘high five’ hand shake from you. In my culture the younger prostrate for the older while some people do not bother about your posture while greeting. The way you greet someone goes a long way to show respect or otherwise.
*Read their emotional gauge carefully
It is important to study the feelings of people around us. We must acknowledge their mood and empathize with them.
*Value their privacy
Admiring someone also involves giving the person the required privacy. Not everyone will be free to share everything with you. So be content with what they share with you despite the fact that you might have shared your entire life with them. Don’t insist on getting facts from people; let them share it with you.
*Be available when needed
Try and go out of your way to be available for the people when they need you most, whether it is convenient for you or not. That will make them feel esteemed. Showing respect to people will not always be rosy, it always come with a price.
*Consider their opinion
Everyone wants to have their opinions valued. When people give you advice, weigh the options. Let them be aware that you are giving their views a consideration even if you may not make use of the advice eventually.
*Tact is very crucial
Discretion is vital in any meaningful relationship. Whenever you need to correct or disagree with anyone you admire, do it skilfully considering the feelings of the other person. There are a lot of times you may need to compromise your stand on non-fundamental issues and let the sleeping dog lie.
*Give regard to the people they value
Respect has a relay effect. You cannot proof that you admire and defer to me when you disrespect my wife or my parents. Relate carefully with the people your friends respect, it will show them you are not taking them for granted.
Reply their letters, emails, SMS
Do not ignore the requests or enquiries of those you admire. It is very depressing and demeaning to be ignored.
Rejoice with them
Celebrate with them when the occasion demands. Remember their birthdays, anniversaries, and send good wishes as well as gifts no matter how small. It is the gesture that matters most.
To respect someone is to defer and admire the person. I think everybody needs that admiration whether younger or older. To show respect to people, the following tips will be useful:
* Use title of respect creatively
It is important to know what kind of title makes the other person comfortable. If the company policy stipulates that all staff should be addressed on first name basis but you find your immediate boss uncomfortable with you calling his first name as it is in my country, please put a title of respect that makes your relationship flow smoothly.
* Manner of greetings/pleasantries matters
Not everyone in your life will take a ‘high five’ hand shake from you. In my culture the younger prostrate for the older while some people do not bother about your posture while greeting. The way you greet someone goes a long way to show respect or otherwise.
*Read their emotional gauge carefully
It is important to study the feelings of people around us. We must acknowledge their mood and empathize with them.
*Value their privacy
Admiring someone also involves giving the person the required privacy. Not everyone will be free to share everything with you. So be content with what they share with you despite the fact that you might have shared your entire life with them. Don’t insist on getting facts from people; let them share it with you.
*Be available when needed
Try and go out of your way to be available for the people when they need you most, whether it is convenient for you or not. That will make them feel esteemed. Showing respect to people will not always be rosy, it always come with a price.
*Consider their opinion
Everyone wants to have their opinions valued. When people give you advice, weigh the options. Let them be aware that you are giving their views a consideration even if you may not make use of the advice eventually.
*Tact is very crucial
Discretion is vital in any meaningful relationship. Whenever you need to correct or disagree with anyone you admire, do it skilfully considering the feelings of the other person. There are a lot of times you may need to compromise your stand on non-fundamental issues and let the sleeping dog lie.
*Give regard to the people they value
Respect has a relay effect. You cannot proof that you admire and defer to me when you disrespect my wife or my parents. Relate carefully with the people your friends respect, it will show them you are not taking them for granted.
Reply their letters, emails, SMS
Do not ignore the requests or enquiries of those you admire. It is very depressing and demeaning to be ignored.
Rejoice with them
Celebrate with them when the occasion demands. Remember their birthdays, anniversaries, and send good wishes as well as gifts no matter how small. It is the gesture that matters most.
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
TRUE FRIENDS
True friends
Closer than brothers
Warmth during cold
Refuge in trouble
◊◊◊◊◊◊◊
True friends,
Very hard to find,
Very difficult to lose,
Even if they are very far apart,
Their hearts are in touch,
◊◊◊◊◊◊◊
True friends,
Not based on profit
Not based on benefits,
But on mutual advantages,
◊◊◊◊◊◊
True friends,
That place of comfort during trouble,
That heart that safely keeps all secrets,
That person that cares
◊◊◊◊◊◊◊
True friends,
Anticipate your needs even before you realize them
What can I do?
Without my friends
I mean my true friends.
Closer than brothers
Warmth during cold
Refuge in trouble
◊◊◊◊◊◊◊
True friends,
Very hard to find,
Very difficult to lose,
Even if they are very far apart,
Their hearts are in touch,
◊◊◊◊◊◊◊
True friends,
Not based on profit
Not based on benefits,
But on mutual advantages,
◊◊◊◊◊◊
True friends,
That place of comfort during trouble,
That heart that safely keeps all secrets,
That person that cares
◊◊◊◊◊◊◊
True friends,
Anticipate your needs even before you realize them
What can I do?
Without my friends
I mean my true friends.
How do we get God's attention
We can only get God’s attention by sticking to His will. God will always honour and protect the interest of those that do His will.
He will reveal what everyone is craving for to those that stay in will, that is why Paul said in 1 Cor 2:9 No one's ever seen or heard anything like this, Never so much as imagined anything quite like it- What God has arranged for those who love him.
The best place a man can be is to be in the will of God. Man fell because he used his will wrongly.
WHY DO WE FIND IT DIFFICULT TO DO THE WILL
*The suffering and the shame. Heb 11:8-11
*Immediate gratification –2cor. 8:9
*Secular humanism
*Societal acceptance
THE PROCESS
*Keep yourself exposed to the standard –
Psa 40:6 Sacrifice and offering thou didst not desire; mine ears hast thou opened: burnt offering and sin offering hast thou not required.
Psa 40:7 Then said I, Lo, I come: in the volume of the book it is written of me,
Psa 40:8 I delight to do thy will, O my God: yea, thy law is within my heart.
*Pray until you see it. Psa 143:10 Teach me how to live to please you, because you're my God. Lead me by your blessed Spirit into cleared and level pastureland Make it a rule for everyday living.
*Don’t be quick to carve anything on stone. Strong willed people are mediocre.
*Always keep Christ in focus as our perfect example.
*Be teachable. –
1Pe 5:6 Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you in due time:
1Pe 5:7 Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you.
Strong willed people are proud and will want to take glory for their actions. We will not be able to attain the position of LIVING IN HIS SIGHT, if we have our will in place.
WHAT IS WILL
Will is the seat of decision. It is the faculty of our being to judge the best form action to take in any situation.
Act 13:36 For David, after he had served his own generation by the will of God, fell on sleep, and was laid unto his fathers, and saw corruption:
David lived according to the will of God's command, and he died by the will of his decree. He served the good of men, but did not serve the will of men
There are a lot of things that are seen in David's life that are worthy of emulation
*Devoted – lion and the bear could not take the sheep in His care.
*Courageous – He dared Goliath.
*Obtained showbread – 1sam21:1-6; Matt 12:3-4
*Saved keilah – 1sam23:1-13
He will reveal what everyone is craving for to those that stay in will, that is why Paul said in 1 Cor 2:9 No one's ever seen or heard anything like this, Never so much as imagined anything quite like it- What God has arranged for those who love him.
The best place a man can be is to be in the will of God. Man fell because he used his will wrongly.
WHY DO WE FIND IT DIFFICULT TO DO THE WILL
*The suffering and the shame. Heb 11:8-11
*Immediate gratification –2cor. 8:9
*Secular humanism
*Societal acceptance
THE PROCESS
*Keep yourself exposed to the standard –
Psa 40:6 Sacrifice and offering thou didst not desire; mine ears hast thou opened: burnt offering and sin offering hast thou not required.
Psa 40:7 Then said I, Lo, I come: in the volume of the book it is written of me,
Psa 40:8 I delight to do thy will, O my God: yea, thy law is within my heart.
*Pray until you see it. Psa 143:10 Teach me how to live to please you, because you're my God. Lead me by your blessed Spirit into cleared and level pastureland Make it a rule for everyday living.
*Don’t be quick to carve anything on stone. Strong willed people are mediocre.
*Always keep Christ in focus as our perfect example.
*Be teachable. –
1Pe 5:6 Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you in due time:
1Pe 5:7 Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you.
Strong willed people are proud and will want to take glory for their actions. We will not be able to attain the position of LIVING IN HIS SIGHT, if we have our will in place.
WHAT IS WILL
Will is the seat of decision. It is the faculty of our being to judge the best form action to take in any situation.
Act 13:36 For David, after he had served his own generation by the will of God, fell on sleep, and was laid unto his fathers, and saw corruption:
David lived according to the will of God's command, and he died by the will of his decree. He served the good of men, but did not serve the will of men
There are a lot of things that are seen in David's life that are worthy of emulation
*Devoted – lion and the bear could not take the sheep in His care.
*Courageous – He dared Goliath.
*Obtained showbread – 1sam21:1-6; Matt 12:3-4
*Saved keilah – 1sam23:1-13
Friday, June 11, 2010
Is it okay to be rude to someone that is rude to you?
It is only in mathematics that minus multiplied by minus equals plus. What I mean by this is that two wrongs do not make a right in real life. The question we should ask ourselves is that, is it right to be rude? Can you describe someone that is rude as being mannerly? Would you like to be associated with someone that is snobbish? Is it not rather degrading to be viewed as being unmannerly? There is a saying that says if someone mentally sound begins to fight with a mad man, it will be difficult to prove that both of them are not mad. If you respond rudely to a rude behaviour, frankly you are also rude.
If honestly you will not want to be unmannerly in your behaviour, why would you then be rude to someone that is rude to you? It is very wrong to always react, rather act or at best be proactive. When you behave rudely to someone that is rude to you, you are reacting and that will never bring the best out you, it will rather fulfil the intention of the person that was rude to you. Do not let anyone ‘remote control’ you. You can be in charge of your emotions and actions. It is very essential to always be objective.
Wikipedia describe Rudeness (also called impudence, talking fresh, sassy or effrontery) as disrespect and failure to behave within the context of a society or a group of people's social laws oretiquette.These laws have already unspokenly been established as the essential boundaries of normally accepted behavior. To be unable or unwilling to align one's behavior with these laws known to the general population of what is socially acceptable is to be rude.
There are basic ways to respond (please mind my choice of word-to respond not to react) to rude people:
1. Assess the issue at hand critically – ask yourself sincerely whether the situation making this person to react actually worth the emotional fireworks intended? When you objectively assess the situation at hand, you will definitely take appropriate actions.
2. Assess the person in question – could it be that this person is under some kind of pressure? Is this person trying to get at me? Have I offended this person in time past? Is this person misbehaviour worth my valuable attention? It will not be a wise investment of time and emotional energy to react to a rude person, if one can critically answer those questions.
3. Seek the path of grace – there times that one will need to just accept individuals with grace. We might just simply respond like Jesus said that ‘Father forgive them for they do not know what they are doing’. Jesus did not spit when they spat on him. It might be difficult but possible if we want to follow the path of truth and be objective. Pro 15:1 A gentle response defuses anger, but a sharp tongue kindles a temper-fire.
4. Give time – given that you will not respond rudely, do not try to correct the person immediately. Give time for the person to mellow down. A rude person is not objective and cannot perceive at that moment the corrective measure you intend.
5. Just ignore – there may be times to just overlook certain behaviours. It may even make the rude person to come back to his senses.
It can never be right to rude to someone that is rude to you, because that makes you also a rude person.
If honestly you will not want to be unmannerly in your behaviour, why would you then be rude to someone that is rude to you? It is very wrong to always react, rather act or at best be proactive. When you behave rudely to someone that is rude to you, you are reacting and that will never bring the best out you, it will rather fulfil the intention of the person that was rude to you. Do not let anyone ‘remote control’ you. You can be in charge of your emotions and actions. It is very essential to always be objective.
Wikipedia describe Rudeness (also called impudence, talking fresh, sassy or effrontery) as disrespect and failure to behave within the context of a society or a group of people's social laws oretiquette.These laws have already unspokenly been established as the essential boundaries of normally accepted behavior. To be unable or unwilling to align one's behavior with these laws known to the general population of what is socially acceptable is to be rude.
There are basic ways to respond (please mind my choice of word-to respond not to react) to rude people:
1. Assess the issue at hand critically – ask yourself sincerely whether the situation making this person to react actually worth the emotional fireworks intended? When you objectively assess the situation at hand, you will definitely take appropriate actions.
2. Assess the person in question – could it be that this person is under some kind of pressure? Is this person trying to get at me? Have I offended this person in time past? Is this person misbehaviour worth my valuable attention? It will not be a wise investment of time and emotional energy to react to a rude person, if one can critically answer those questions.
3. Seek the path of grace – there times that one will need to just accept individuals with grace. We might just simply respond like Jesus said that ‘Father forgive them for they do not know what they are doing’. Jesus did not spit when they spat on him. It might be difficult but possible if we want to follow the path of truth and be objective. Pro 15:1 A gentle response defuses anger, but a sharp tongue kindles a temper-fire.
4. Give time – given that you will not respond rudely, do not try to correct the person immediately. Give time for the person to mellow down. A rude person is not objective and cannot perceive at that moment the corrective measure you intend.
5. Just ignore – there may be times to just overlook certain behaviours. It may even make the rude person to come back to his senses.
It can never be right to rude to someone that is rude to you, because that makes you also a rude person.
Monday, June 7, 2010
Extra-curricular Activities and Peer Pressure
Using physical activities to reduce the negative effect of peer pressure cannot produce lasting result.
Peer pressure is more of sociological and psychological phenomenon than physical. Physical activities are just vehicles to drive what has been designed to affect individuals' behaviour and attitude.
I need to also mention that not all peer pressure result in bad influence. Association and assimilation also has a great way of impacting individuals for positive response. I have been working with teenagers for over a decade now and I have seen that the best way to help a teenager stabilize is to arrange other teenagers that are established in good character around him.
Many of the teenagers I have worked with both at school and the teenage ministry at church have been challenged by the good and productive disposition of the others. Given that peer pressure has led a lot of young people and even adults down the path of destruction, quite a good number have been positively affected by result –oriented individuals around them.
Physical activities by itself will not lead to the reduction but the kind of the activities and the people involved in the activities. A child can be physically involved in many activities and still have enough time to be involved in heinous deeds. As a matter of fact the centres for those activities can a breeding ground for bad influence. Take for example, a parent desiring to reduce the amount of time available for his child decides to enrol him in a music class after school without checking the fine details of the strength of character of the instructors, the kind of children attending the class, the kind of ‘extra class’ activities that go on there. That child may eventually get worse while attending the class if the environment is not appropriate.
As parents and guardians, we must depend on God for inspiration to be creative in ways that we engage our children for after-school activities that will build them up. In as much as they need a high-quality level of socialisation for development, it our responsibility to guide them into activities that will build them up for the future. We cannot afford to just throw them into any available activity.
My candid opinion is that while productive activities are good, the kind of activities and especially the people involved should be carefully screened for young adults. Our focus for teenagers around us should be the deliberate building of their inner man. If they are well built inside they will not only be able withstand bad influence but exert their own positive pressure on those around them.
Peer pressure is more of sociological and psychological phenomenon than physical. Physical activities are just vehicles to drive what has been designed to affect individuals' behaviour and attitude.
I need to also mention that not all peer pressure result in bad influence. Association and assimilation also has a great way of impacting individuals for positive response. I have been working with teenagers for over a decade now and I have seen that the best way to help a teenager stabilize is to arrange other teenagers that are established in good character around him.
Many of the teenagers I have worked with both at school and the teenage ministry at church have been challenged by the good and productive disposition of the others. Given that peer pressure has led a lot of young people and even adults down the path of destruction, quite a good number have been positively affected by result –oriented individuals around them.
Physical activities by itself will not lead to the reduction but the kind of the activities and the people involved in the activities. A child can be physically involved in many activities and still have enough time to be involved in heinous deeds. As a matter of fact the centres for those activities can a breeding ground for bad influence. Take for example, a parent desiring to reduce the amount of time available for his child decides to enrol him in a music class after school without checking the fine details of the strength of character of the instructors, the kind of children attending the class, the kind of ‘extra class’ activities that go on there. That child may eventually get worse while attending the class if the environment is not appropriate.
As parents and guardians, we must depend on God for inspiration to be creative in ways that we engage our children for after-school activities that will build them up. In as much as they need a high-quality level of socialisation for development, it our responsibility to guide them into activities that will build them up for the future. We cannot afford to just throw them into any available activity.
My candid opinion is that while productive activities are good, the kind of activities and especially the people involved should be carefully screened for young adults. Our focus for teenagers around us should be the deliberate building of their inner man. If they are well built inside they will not only be able withstand bad influence but exert their own positive pressure on those around them.
Friday, June 4, 2010
Great Fathers Are Mentors
Fatherhood is an assignment that I have always revered because it goes a long way to shape the outlook to life for mankind. Many of us make decisions today spontaneously or deliberately taking reference from our father.
My dad is a wonderful man that I will always respect. I had thought while growing up that my dad is a bit soft because of the way I hear other people talk about how tough and high-handed their fathers are. This is because he allows us to take our decisions; he makes us come up with suggestions as to what we need to do. I am not saying we get away with those adolescent excesses, but his rules and conditions are clearly stated that you will always know the rewards and otherwise for any action that you take.
I realized later that my father’s approach is the best for a child that will make impact. Everybody has a mindset about issues but a reasonable suggested option will guide in the best direction. Everyone of us in my family(3boys and 3girls) were given the opportunity to decide what we want to do in life, the schools we wanted attend, the courses we wanted to read, the wives/husband we wanted to marry. My father gives us the basic guidelines and leaves us to decide. We may not have plenty money now and have exceedingly glamorous stories to tell yet, but we are on a path to a great end.
That is the way I want to relate with my sons. I want to guide them with God's eyes. I want to depend on God to give them instructions that will clearly state the accurate pattern for life. I want a situation where they will look at the way I live and the decisions I take, and be able to take cues for their life decisions. Children when forced and compelled to do things will do it for a while under your roof but may trash all those ‘commandments’ immediately they are outside your gate. We must realise that God will force no one; He will only place the option before us. Deu 30:19 I call Heaven and Earth to witness against you today: I place before you Life and Death, Blessing and Curse. Choose life so that you and your children will live.
I strongly agree that life is a product of personal adventure, but it is also a network of influence. A father should be one of the strongest influences in the life of an individual. That is when our children’s adventures in life will make meaning and impact.
As we celebrate fathers, we need to be conscious of the pattern that we set before our children. We must make the guidelines clear to them and allow them make intelligent decisions. We must trust God to lead our children aright. Many fathers are too afraid that their children will fail and become wayward that they unnecessarily become overbearing and make them rebellious in the end. Let us train them to know how to listen to God and know that we are custodians not owners.
Good fathers (whether biological or in any other respects) are mentors. Just set the model before them and let them decide.
My dad is a wonderful man that I will always respect. I had thought while growing up that my dad is a bit soft because of the way I hear other people talk about how tough and high-handed their fathers are. This is because he allows us to take our decisions; he makes us come up with suggestions as to what we need to do. I am not saying we get away with those adolescent excesses, but his rules and conditions are clearly stated that you will always know the rewards and otherwise for any action that you take.
I realized later that my father’s approach is the best for a child that will make impact. Everybody has a mindset about issues but a reasonable suggested option will guide in the best direction. Everyone of us in my family(3boys and 3girls) were given the opportunity to decide what we want to do in life, the schools we wanted attend, the courses we wanted to read, the wives/husband we wanted to marry. My father gives us the basic guidelines and leaves us to decide. We may not have plenty money now and have exceedingly glamorous stories to tell yet, but we are on a path to a great end.
That is the way I want to relate with my sons. I want to guide them with God's eyes. I want to depend on God to give them instructions that will clearly state the accurate pattern for life. I want a situation where they will look at the way I live and the decisions I take, and be able to take cues for their life decisions. Children when forced and compelled to do things will do it for a while under your roof but may trash all those ‘commandments’ immediately they are outside your gate. We must realise that God will force no one; He will only place the option before us. Deu 30:19 I call Heaven and Earth to witness against you today: I place before you Life and Death, Blessing and Curse. Choose life so that you and your children will live.
I strongly agree that life is a product of personal adventure, but it is also a network of influence. A father should be one of the strongest influences in the life of an individual. That is when our children’s adventures in life will make meaning and impact.
As we celebrate fathers, we need to be conscious of the pattern that we set before our children. We must make the guidelines clear to them and allow them make intelligent decisions. We must trust God to lead our children aright. Many fathers are too afraid that their children will fail and become wayward that they unnecessarily become overbearing and make them rebellious in the end. Let us train them to know how to listen to God and know that we are custodians not owners.
Good fathers (whether biological or in any other respects) are mentors. Just set the model before them and let them decide.
Saturday, May 15, 2010
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Reflections on Everyday Living by Roy Lessin
Ever wonder what you'll say to your daughter before her wedding day? Ever consider the words of wisdom you want to share with your son when he leaves home for college? Ever think about the reflections on life you want to give to your grandchildren?
Here are a few observations and thoughts about life that you may want to add to your collection. If you don't have a collection of heart reflections gathered yet, perhaps this list will stir you to begin the process. Some thoughts are practical, some are simple, some are fun, but all are meant to make life richer and more rewarding.
* When you greet people, look them in the eye. When they speak, give them your attention.
* When someone speaks to you in anger, let your response be a soft answer.
* Learn how to receive a compliment.
* You can't always be on the giving end. When others give to you, receive it with as much grace and kindness as is being extended.
* Learn to laugh more - it's great medicine.
* Never need "a little more" in order to be content.
* Three things to remember about people: their names, their birthdays, a few of their favorite things.
* Find a place away from city lights and gaze into the heavens on a clear night.
* Call or send a card for no reason.
* If you don't need it, do without it if it means going into debt.
* Tithe - you can never out-give God.
* Let people know you appreciate them for who they are and not just what they do.
* Sing around the house. Church isn't the only place to praise the Lord.
* Fix a special meal, served on special china, for no special reason.
* The best time to treat anything that needs maintenance is "right now."
* Never allow what you possess to possess you.
* Return the thing you borrow in better condition than you receive it.
* Don't ever forget to return the things you borrow, fix the things you break, pay the bills you owe, take care of the things you own.
* If you are not sure what to do in a given situation, ask, "What is the loving thing to do?"
* Take a class in music appreciation.
* Do something new with an old friend.
* Guard trust in any relationship.
* Don't ever lose heart - God will never give up on you.
* Never let your heart run out of thankfulness.
* One place to “be like Jesus” is behind the wheel of your car.
* Don't feel inferior to anyone. God made only one of you.
* When you do something, put everything you have into it.
* Don't carry around worry, fear or anxiety. They are the thieves of peace.
* Hold things with an open palm.
* Guard the company you keep. It will impact your behavior.
* Never quit giving the gift of your smile.
Here are a few observations and thoughts about life that you may want to add to your collection. If you don't have a collection of heart reflections gathered yet, perhaps this list will stir you to begin the process. Some thoughts are practical, some are simple, some are fun, but all are meant to make life richer and more rewarding.
* When you greet people, look them in the eye. When they speak, give them your attention.
* When someone speaks to you in anger, let your response be a soft answer.
* Learn how to receive a compliment.
* You can't always be on the giving end. When others give to you, receive it with as much grace and kindness as is being extended.
* Learn to laugh more - it's great medicine.
* Never need "a little more" in order to be content.
* Three things to remember about people: their names, their birthdays, a few of their favorite things.
* Find a place away from city lights and gaze into the heavens on a clear night.
* Call or send a card for no reason.
* If you don't need it, do without it if it means going into debt.
* Tithe - you can never out-give God.
* Let people know you appreciate them for who they are and not just what they do.
* Sing around the house. Church isn't the only place to praise the Lord.
* Fix a special meal, served on special china, for no special reason.
* The best time to treat anything that needs maintenance is "right now."
* Never allow what you possess to possess you.
* Return the thing you borrow in better condition than you receive it.
* Don't ever forget to return the things you borrow, fix the things you break, pay the bills you owe, take care of the things you own.
* If you are not sure what to do in a given situation, ask, "What is the loving thing to do?"
* Take a class in music appreciation.
* Do something new with an old friend.
* Guard trust in any relationship.
* Don't ever lose heart - God will never give up on you.
* Never let your heart run out of thankfulness.
* One place to “be like Jesus” is behind the wheel of your car.
* Don't feel inferior to anyone. God made only one of you.
* When you do something, put everything you have into it.
* Don't carry around worry, fear or anxiety. They are the thieves of peace.
* Hold things with an open palm.
* Guard the company you keep. It will impact your behavior.
* Never quit giving the gift of your smile.
Sunday, February 21, 2010
Think It Over by Charles R. Swindoll
Here are several very personal questions to help you know how severe we need to be with ourselves in order to "abstain from wickedness." Answer each one honestly.
• Are you regularly with a person of the opposite sex in inappropriate situations?
• Are you completely above reproach in all your financial dealings, including your taxes?
• Do you expose yourself to explicit sexual material?
• If you have a family, do you invest sufficient time with them?
• Do you tell the truth? How often do you lie (don't forget to count the little white ones)?
• How quickly do you say "I am wrong; I am genuinely sorry" when you have said or done something that hurts another?
• Do you hold grudges?
• Are you knowingly compromising in some area of your life, refusing to acknowledge the consequences that you will surely have to face?
• Have you formed a habit that is detrimental to your health or your job or your walk with Christ?
• Are you proud, selfish, arrogant?
• Have you taken credit for something that someone else did and should have been rewarded for?
• Do you return things you borrow?
• Have you failed to confess something to someone who should know of your wrongdoing?
• Are you abusing your mate or your children---physically or emotionally?
• Do you allow abuse to happen without seeking help?
• Do you regularly spend time in prayer and in the Scriptures?
Excerpted from Day by Day with Charles Swindoll, Copyright © 2000 by Charles R. Swindoll, Inc. (Thomas Nelson Publishers). All rights reserved worldwide. Used by permission.
• Are you regularly with a person of the opposite sex in inappropriate situations?
• Are you completely above reproach in all your financial dealings, including your taxes?
• Do you expose yourself to explicit sexual material?
• If you have a family, do you invest sufficient time with them?
• Do you tell the truth? How often do you lie (don't forget to count the little white ones)?
• How quickly do you say "I am wrong; I am genuinely sorry" when you have said or done something that hurts another?
• Do you hold grudges?
• Are you knowingly compromising in some area of your life, refusing to acknowledge the consequences that you will surely have to face?
• Have you formed a habit that is detrimental to your health or your job or your walk with Christ?
• Are you proud, selfish, arrogant?
• Have you taken credit for something that someone else did and should have been rewarded for?
• Do you return things you borrow?
• Have you failed to confess something to someone who should know of your wrongdoing?
• Are you abusing your mate or your children---physically or emotionally?
• Do you allow abuse to happen without seeking help?
• Do you regularly spend time in prayer and in the Scriptures?
Excerpted from Day by Day with Charles Swindoll, Copyright © 2000 by Charles R. Swindoll, Inc. (Thomas Nelson Publishers). All rights reserved worldwide. Used by permission.
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Saints with Arms?
I had awesome conversations during the period of the last crisis in Jos – one first hand and the other narrated.
During the crisis, I was talking with my neighbours who are Christians and one of them said “we Christians will not be able to fight like the other fellows do because the next time we are in Church our pastors will preach to us to embrace peace and love while the other folks are being strategically positioned to be alert to fight for their god.
A friend, who teaches at a Christian secondary school in Jos discovered during the first week of resumption of school after the crisis that there was a daily increase in students’ attendance but plunged dramatically on Friday. He asked the students what could be responsible for the remarkable drop in attendance, the students responded “when Christians go to their services they come out pious and armless while the others go and strategise on how to foment uproar so as to deal with non-adherents of their faith.
What immediately came to me after the second discussion was that are Christians suppose to come out of their meetings and services weak and jelly-like? Should we also include in our order of service issues of arms and attack? Are we supposed to sit back and be content with defending ourselves when this kind of event happened? Is there not a way we can also launch an attack at certain times and situation?
I answered in my thoughts, if Elijah had strategized on a physical note, would he have escaped the siege of the Assyrians? If it was just the regular meetings, would Elijah have been able to give accurate intelligence report to the king of Israel about the plan of the Assyrian army? Did David win the battle against Goliath in the flesh? Didn’t he take the advantage of Goliath taking the battle to the Spirit?
It is sad to say that the meetings we have in most churches are so weightless, laced with uneducated enthusiasm, open-ended celebration, story-telling that have no bearing on equipping the saints.
Saints are to come out meetings, services, conventions, conferences strong, armed and dangerous that the enemies will not be able to handle. Is it impossible for us to pick up the slightest signals in the spirit before the crisis and alert the relevant authorities? Are we not supposed to be trained to have unequivocal aptitude to engage the ministering spirits in all of these issues? Why have forgotten so soon that angels are still at work?
Isa 1:11 "Why this frenzy of sacrifices?" GOD's asking. "Don't you think I've had my fill of burnt sacrifices, rams and plump grain-fed calves? Don't you think I've had my fill of blood from bulls, lambs, and goats?
Isa 1:12 When you come before me, who ever gave you the idea of acting like this, Running here and there, doing this and that-- all this sheer commotion in the place provided for worship?
Isa 1:13 "Quit your worship charades. I can't stand your trivial religious games: Monthly conferences, weekly Sabbaths, special meetings-- meetings, meetings, meetings--I can't stand one more!
Isa 1:14 Meetings for this, meetings for that. I hate them! You've worn me out! I'm sick of your religion, religion, religion, while you go right on sinning.
Isa 1:15 When you put on your next prayer-performance, I'll be looking the other way. No matter how long or loud or often you pray, I'll not be listening. And do you know why? Because you've been tearing people to pieces, and your hands are bloody.
What Elijah did was not Old Testament it is a walk in the Spirit. Gal 5:25 Since this is the kind of life we have chosen, the life of the Spirit, let us make sure that we do not just hold it as an idea in our heads or a sentiment in our hearts, but work out its implications in every detail of our lives. The greatest danger facing the 21st century saint is that tendency to take everything on a physical note.
The fact remains that the curfew has affected our meetings and strategic sessions to equip the saints. The days of baseless prayers are over. It does not make sense to be encumbered with our needs all the time when God has promised to meet them in His sovereignty. We should be concerned with principality and powers, rulers of darkness in heavenly places.
The battle for the soul of Jos City is not by might nor by power but by the Spirit. The fact remains that if we flow with spirit, the might and the power to execute judgement and engage principalities will definitely come.
This is a challenge for me and all the saints in the city of Jos.
During the crisis, I was talking with my neighbours who are Christians and one of them said “we Christians will not be able to fight like the other fellows do because the next time we are in Church our pastors will preach to us to embrace peace and love while the other folks are being strategically positioned to be alert to fight for their god.
A friend, who teaches at a Christian secondary school in Jos discovered during the first week of resumption of school after the crisis that there was a daily increase in students’ attendance but plunged dramatically on Friday. He asked the students what could be responsible for the remarkable drop in attendance, the students responded “when Christians go to their services they come out pious and armless while the others go and strategise on how to foment uproar so as to deal with non-adherents of their faith.
What immediately came to me after the second discussion was that are Christians suppose to come out of their meetings and services weak and jelly-like? Should we also include in our order of service issues of arms and attack? Are we supposed to sit back and be content with defending ourselves when this kind of event happened? Is there not a way we can also launch an attack at certain times and situation?
I answered in my thoughts, if Elijah had strategized on a physical note, would he have escaped the siege of the Assyrians? If it was just the regular meetings, would Elijah have been able to give accurate intelligence report to the king of Israel about the plan of the Assyrian army? Did David win the battle against Goliath in the flesh? Didn’t he take the advantage of Goliath taking the battle to the Spirit?
It is sad to say that the meetings we have in most churches are so weightless, laced with uneducated enthusiasm, open-ended celebration, story-telling that have no bearing on equipping the saints.
Saints are to come out meetings, services, conventions, conferences strong, armed and dangerous that the enemies will not be able to handle. Is it impossible for us to pick up the slightest signals in the spirit before the crisis and alert the relevant authorities? Are we not supposed to be trained to have unequivocal aptitude to engage the ministering spirits in all of these issues? Why have forgotten so soon that angels are still at work?
Isa 1:11 "Why this frenzy of sacrifices?" GOD's asking. "Don't you think I've had my fill of burnt sacrifices, rams and plump grain-fed calves? Don't you think I've had my fill of blood from bulls, lambs, and goats?
Isa 1:12 When you come before me, who ever gave you the idea of acting like this, Running here and there, doing this and that-- all this sheer commotion in the place provided for worship?
Isa 1:13 "Quit your worship charades. I can't stand your trivial religious games: Monthly conferences, weekly Sabbaths, special meetings-- meetings, meetings, meetings--I can't stand one more!
Isa 1:14 Meetings for this, meetings for that. I hate them! You've worn me out! I'm sick of your religion, religion, religion, while you go right on sinning.
Isa 1:15 When you put on your next prayer-performance, I'll be looking the other way. No matter how long or loud or often you pray, I'll not be listening. And do you know why? Because you've been tearing people to pieces, and your hands are bloody.
What Elijah did was not Old Testament it is a walk in the Spirit. Gal 5:25 Since this is the kind of life we have chosen, the life of the Spirit, let us make sure that we do not just hold it as an idea in our heads or a sentiment in our hearts, but work out its implications in every detail of our lives. The greatest danger facing the 21st century saint is that tendency to take everything on a physical note.
The fact remains that the curfew has affected our meetings and strategic sessions to equip the saints. The days of baseless prayers are over. It does not make sense to be encumbered with our needs all the time when God has promised to meet them in His sovereignty. We should be concerned with principality and powers, rulers of darkness in heavenly places.
The battle for the soul of Jos City is not by might nor by power but by the Spirit. The fact remains that if we flow with spirit, the might and the power to execute judgement and engage principalities will definitely come.
This is a challenge for me and all the saints in the city of Jos.
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Jos Crisis – the salient Issue
Why will a dispute over a building project throw the whole city into predicament? Why would a difference of opinion in a section of the city grossly affect the entire Jos city? What would make neighbours and friends suddenly become enemies?
A simple disagreement claimed over 300 lives, destroyed hundreds of houses, cars and various properties.
These are issues I kept thinking about during this present mayhem in Jos City. I keep thinking why there is such a tensed atmosphere in this city. Trust seems elusive.
There must be more than meet the eye in this crisis. I strongly believe that the crisis in Jos is more spiritual than physical. Consider this: this crisis makes people sad unnecessarily, heightens blood pressure, creates hatred that eats into people’s emotion, brings about insomnia (sleeplessness), lack of appetite for those that have food and acute hunger for those that are caught off guard, loss of business(a friend of mine lost all of business equipments- I don’t how he is going to start again), economic loss due to sit-at-home situation,
Could this be mere fighting and claiming of rights?
The world is unprincipled. It's dog-eat-dog out there! The world doesn't fight fair. But we don't live or fight our battles that way--never have and never will.
The tools of our trade aren't for marketing or manipulation, but they are for demolishing that entire massively corrupt culture.
We use our powerful God-tools for smashing warped philosophies, tearing down barriers erected against the truth of God, fitting every loose thought and emotion and impulse into the structure of life shaped by Christ.
I think we should see beyond the fighting and religious disharmony? This crisis is meant to erode our sense of judgement and sensitivity to the flow of the spirit.
Consider Christians wishing that the Muslim community be evacuated to Toro in Bauchi state, calling those created in the image of God goats (am guilty of that, but am repenting right now), burning neighbours’ houses on the grounds of retaliating what has been done to some other Christians in some other parts of the city, leaving the city with no consideration for the will of God or express instructions from him.
I cannot be convinced otherwise that it can’t be the Holy Spirit that well up such hatred, violence, disorientation, fear and lack of compassion for fellow man.
We need to sit back and think deeply about the kind of spirit that is fuelling our reaction to the present situation. Our actions, reaction and non-action must be rooted in the Spirit of God.
A simple disagreement claimed over 300 lives, destroyed hundreds of houses, cars and various properties.
These are issues I kept thinking about during this present mayhem in Jos City. I keep thinking why there is such a tensed atmosphere in this city. Trust seems elusive.
There must be more than meet the eye in this crisis. I strongly believe that the crisis in Jos is more spiritual than physical. Consider this: this crisis makes people sad unnecessarily, heightens blood pressure, creates hatred that eats into people’s emotion, brings about insomnia (sleeplessness), lack of appetite for those that have food and acute hunger for those that are caught off guard, loss of business(a friend of mine lost all of business equipments- I don’t how he is going to start again), economic loss due to sit-at-home situation,
Could this be mere fighting and claiming of rights?
The world is unprincipled. It's dog-eat-dog out there! The world doesn't fight fair. But we don't live or fight our battles that way--never have and never will.
The tools of our trade aren't for marketing or manipulation, but they are for demolishing that entire massively corrupt culture.
We use our powerful God-tools for smashing warped philosophies, tearing down barriers erected against the truth of God, fitting every loose thought and emotion and impulse into the structure of life shaped by Christ.
I think we should see beyond the fighting and religious disharmony? This crisis is meant to erode our sense of judgement and sensitivity to the flow of the spirit.
Consider Christians wishing that the Muslim community be evacuated to Toro in Bauchi state, calling those created in the image of God goats (am guilty of that, but am repenting right now), burning neighbours’ houses on the grounds of retaliating what has been done to some other Christians in some other parts of the city, leaving the city with no consideration for the will of God or express instructions from him.
I cannot be convinced otherwise that it can’t be the Holy Spirit that well up such hatred, violence, disorientation, fear and lack of compassion for fellow man.
We need to sit back and think deeply about the kind of spirit that is fuelling our reaction to the present situation. Our actions, reaction and non-action must be rooted in the Spirit of God.
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